


submerge

by fiveyaaas



Series: when autumn comes [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Bath Sex, Blood, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Five is working as an assassin, Guilt, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, but has a sort of relationship with her, where he’ll visit every once in a while until he can come home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26830576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: He hears her shuffling to the door, opening it with a confused expression. When she sees him, her eyes fill with understanding and she glances around the hallway once, twice, before pulling him inside.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: when autumn comes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941919
Comments: 10
Kudos: 92
Collections: Harcest Fall Festival: Fiveya Kinktober 2020





	submerge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ellaphunt19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaphunt19/gifts).



> I am gifting this one to Ella, who writes just the absolute sweetest comments on my fics and regularly encourages me!! Thank you so much for being such a delight, and I appreciate you!!! 
> 
> I didn’t put a violence warning because there isn’t any on-screen violence, but there are mentions of blood.

_You shouldn’t be here._

Five is not sure which voice he’s hearing- Delores’s? Vanya’s? His own? 

His fist hovers over Vanya’s door, and he feels a weight on his chest as he always does when he comes to her. He sees the blood on his fingers- he hadn’t used a gun tonight, opting for an axe instead- and makes the decision to knock. 

He hears her shuffling to the door, opening it with a confused expression. When she sees him, her eyes fill with understanding and she glances around the hallway once, twice, before pulling him inside. 

When her fingers close around the blood, he feels nausea build up. The door closes with a click, and then she begins locking it with every one of the locks she had deemed unnecessary upon him installing them. 

“Does the handling lady know you’re here?” Her voice is hushed, like she expects someone to be listening in. Unless in the past month someone had bugged her apartment, she should be good there. 

“The Handler,” Five corrects her gently. “And, no, I wouldn’t come here if she knew.”

When he had first come to her after a mission, she had asked a steady slew of questions, not believing it was him. He had supposed that would make sense- a guy in his late fifties claiming to have grown up with a twenty five year old woman would be suspicious. She had run her thumb over his tattoo as she quickly asked questions ranging from personal things only they knew about each other to obscure calculus facts. Eventually, she had settled to the knowledge that it was him. 

That had been last year for her and maybe a few months ago for him.

“You have blood on you,” she comments. 

“Not mine.” He doesn’t look into her eyes as he says it, but she tips his chin up to stare at her. 

“You’ll retire soon,” she promises. It isn’t necessarily true, but time is entirely relative anyways. When he stays in the Commission hotel rooms, time stretches by at such a slow rate that he wonders if they somehow kept it slower purposefully, to keep them just unhinged enough to _enjoy_ the kill. When Vanya crawled into his lap, opening her mouth against his own, time went by unsettlingly fast, never enough of it, even for someone who had the ability to control it. 

She pulls back from him after doing so now, panting. “Do you want to take a shower? I can make dinner or order it or-“

“Vanya,” he interrupts. Her eyes fill with apprehension. “I’m going to have to leave soon.”

“Why did you bother coming if you’d just have to leave after an hour?” 

They both know the answer. He needs her for just a second, to take in the smell of the apricot conditioner she’d used since they were young while she cuddled up to his side and told him about her mundane life that he would kill to have (and, technically, he regularly killed for the promise of it.) 

“I don’t have to come here,” Five offers blankly. He would stop if she asked, but he didn’t know how broken he’d be when he could finally come home to her for good. 

She sighs, “That’s not what I meant, Five.” 

“I would stop if you asked.” He would do anything for her.

“Five,” her voice is small, and she curls her face into his neck, like she’s afraid to see his face when she asks. “Please, please, just stay the night. Just once?” 

He closes his eyes, clenching his jaw. He wants to- wants it more than anything, but if an agent found them…

He couldn’t risk her life like that. He was a bastard for even coming here and letting her hope. 

“Just one night,” she pleads, breath hot against his neck. There is blood on his skin, but she doesn’t seem to notice at all. He wishes she would, wishes that she’d ask him to leave and never come back because the only way he’d be able to force himself away if it was because Vanya didn’t want him there. 

She did want him there, though, and he had promised himself that he would give her whatever she asked long ago. Some things will have to wait- if she wants them to settle down and live a calm, domestic life, for example, he’d have to deny her until he can leave the Commission. However, what she is asking is not out of the question unreasonable, and she never asks for anything. He’s surprised she’d even asked for _this,_ but he supposes he had only been able to stop by for forty five minutes last month. He knew that she missed him when he left. 

“One night,” he tells her firmly. 

He tries to ignore the pounding of his heart as her entire body eases up. When she kisses him gratefully, enthusiastically, he wonders how she could possibly want such an unfair relationship as theirs. Then again, he knew that if the situation was reversed, that if she was the one in his apartment when she could barely ever stay longer than an hour, he would take whatever she could possibly give him. 

“How about you take a shower? What do you want for dinner?” 

“Anything is fine,” he quickly says, not wanting her to go to any trouble. She nods, climbing off of him and hurrying to her small kitchen. 

“Vanya,” he croaks, not able to stop himself. She glances up in confusion. “Would you…?”

He couldn’t say the words, didn’t want to ask that. They’d had sex before, that’s not the problem, it’s the fact that he didn’t ever want to ask, wanted it to be entirely up to her. She is the one who gets the shit end of the stick here, the least he could do is to let her decide what they do with it. 

She seems to understand what he’s asking though, and her face paints itself a bright red. “Go get the shower ready, I’ll be there in a sec,” she tells him. 

He raised a brow in confusion, and she points at her coffee pot. Oh. 

“You’re an angel,” he tells her, taking in the way the blush spreads down her neck at his words before blinking to her shower. 

He fiddles with the water temperature a bit, something that he had done a lot the first time after using a shower again after leaving the apocalyptic wasteland. It’s a really odd luxury, the ability to have water as hot or cold as one chose when showering, but one he very much appreciates.

Since tonight's special, since he is able to stay a little longer, he decides he wants to draw up a bath instead of a shower. It’s an entirely impractical want to have, and he quickly scrubs the blood off himself in a half-assed attempt at making himself look less disgustingly gory before he sets to filling the tub. 

Vanya is there once the tub has been half filled, not seeming to mind his decision to take a bath at all. He wonders if he should pay her water bill suddenly, likely there’d be some discrepancy. Vanya never accepts it when he tries to directly give her money, but she also never seems to question it when she didn’t get bills in her mail some months. She undoubtedly knows, but she doesn’t comment on it, probably because she knows it eases some of the guilt from his conscience. 

He really doesn’t deserve her. 

The thought slips from his mind when she strips down though. Whenever he sees her like this, he wonders whether or not she would be upset when they truly could be together and some nosy person commented on their age difference. Vanya claims that she has no problems with it at all, that he is still the Five she had grown up with, but he doesn’t know how she could possibly think that. 

“Did you use cold water again?” Her voice holds a slightly mocking note. She’s referring to the first time they’d showered together and he’d turned cold water on, for the familiarity of using cold water for decades. He hadn’t explained why he had done it and said something about how it was better for people’s skin to use cold water. He knows if he ever told her the truth of why, she would feel horrible for ever joking about it, though he truly couldn't care less. 

“It’s warm,” he tells her. “Have I ever told you you’re beautiful?”

She rolls her eyes, like he was joking about that, grabbing his hand to keep herself steady as she sinks into the water and leans against his chest.

“Was the mission rough?” Vanya asks, turning her head enough to look up at him. 

He shrugs, noncommittal. 

“You know you can talk about it,” she says, thumbing his cheek. “We don’t always gotta talk about me.”

She knows what he does. He explained it to her, and she took it all in stride. That had, of course, been when she didn’t even believe it was him, so he didn’t truly know how she feels about it now. Hopefully, if she does think him a monster, she wouldn’t be with him this way. 

“I like hearing about you,” he argues recalcitrantly, mainly because if he acts a little petulant, she’ll be less likely to hound him for information. 

“I just worry you might get hurt,” she says softly, and he sighs, wrapping his arms around her and setting his chin on her head. 

“I won’t get hurt, sweetheart.” 

“I sometimes worry you’ll never be able to come home.” Her ears turn pink and she shyly glances away as she says it. 

“One day, I’ll be able to come to you for good, okay?” He tips her chin up, making her look at him as she had done to him earlier. “I promise.” 

She smiles, and he relaxes, knowing that she was content for now. 

“When you’re out of the Commission, do you think we can get married?” 

He smirks, “Thinking a little forward, aren’t you?”

“Technically, we’ve been together a year,” she argues, flushing. He’d only teased her to see the way the blush travels to her chest. “And we’ve known each other almost as long as we’ve been alive too.”

He senses that she may actually be flustered, probably regretting bringing the topic up. That won’t do. He runs his hand down her side, meaning to soothe but noting the way she pressed closer to his chest nevertheless. “Of _course_ , we can, but your family isn’t invited.”

She giggles, and he relishes in the gift she gave with the little sound. “Allison would have a fit if we didn’t tell her.” 

“She’d get over it,” he dismisses.

She seems to realize something, tensing just a little. “Have you talked to any of them?” 

He hasn’t. “Should I have?”

“Well, you know, they’d…” her voice is sheepish, and he realizes that she probably hasn’t talked to them in a while. Old habits die hard, and clearly none of them have changed since he had gone. _Oh, Vanya_ , he thinks, not for the first time by any means. _I should have never left you behind._

“You’re my favorite,” Five offers, something that is very true and had comforted her before, a lifetime ago. “I like talking to you enough to justify getting killed for it.”

She tenses up entirely. “Could this… Five, could you get killed for this?”

_If the Handler found out, yes._

“I won’t get killed,” he assures her. He’d kill the Handler before she could ever possibly steal the life he got to have with Vanya by the end of all this bullshit. He’d never let Vanya lose what he’d promised her, and he’d promised her as soon as he had visited the first time that he would come home for good eventually, that he’d spend the rest of his life with her once he could be safe to do so. Nobody would take that from them. 

“Should you not stay the night?” Her voice is sad, meek. He squeezes her close to him. 

“I’m going to stay the night,” he tells her. If Vanya asked, it is because she needs him. They’d be safe for _a_ night. His mission had been one of his best executed jobs yet, and he’d quickly become something of a legend when he joined the Commission, anyways. The Handler likely just assumes he’s off fucking someone somewhere, and he won’t discourage her from thinking he’s just involved in some meaningless fling. If she knows the truth, Vanya could get hurt, and he wouldn’t allow that. 

“You’re being careful?” 

“As careful as I can be.”

She kisses his cheek, reaching down to touch him. He grunts, moving so that he could press his mouth to hers, to stick his tongue in her mouth and taste her while she grabs him in her small hand. 

She tries to move again, and she would have slipped if he didn’t catch her. “Careful,” he comments softly, hands on her hips. She’s fully facing him now, crouching with her knees on either side of him. He eases her down, so she can rest on his lap.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders and tucking her head under his chin, she grinds her hips against him. 

“Missed you,” she breathes. He kisses the crown of her head, moving his hand between them to run his fingers over her folds.

“I’d visit more if I could,” he tells her, very much feeling his age as he thought of her watching the door as she sat on the couch each night. _It isn’t safe to come by too often_ , he reminds himself weakly. 

“It’s enough for now,” she tells him, trying to ease his fingers inside of her with her hips. “Pretty soon, we can see each other every night.”

He brushes against her clit, trying to ease her aching. “Every night,” he agrees, parroting her words but not knowing _when_ it would be every night. How many people would he have had to kill in the Commission to ensure it happened before he was at an age that he’d only get a short while with her? Five is not bothered with hearing people’s unnecessary commentary on their age difference but knowing that he will die much sooner than her does cause him anxiety. 

He pushes the thought away, fingering Vanya in earnest to distract it. She mewls, drawing her hips up and down on his fingers. He groans as she inadvertently grinds against him. 

“You’ve been so patient,” he praises, pushing his hips up to get a little relief too. He’s thankful for all of the training in his life in that moment because, seriously, bathtubs are a horrible place to do anything sex-related, if only for the fact that they are impossible to keep balance in. He has to hold Vanya up with one hand because she keeps nearly sliding off of him. 

Vanya’s eyes close, and he doesn’t make her look at him even if he wants to see her expression as his finger hits a spot that makes her yelp. 

“I wish I never had to leave you,” he admits, not able to stop himself with her moaning above him. It’s just them, and he can be completely honest when it’s just them. As long as it is just his best friend, he can do that. “I miss you so much, V. I love you.”

She cries out sharply, and he moves his finger more urgently, circling the bundle of nerves the way she likes, barking out praise and thrusting his hips up as he listens to her whine his name. 

As she clenches around his fingers, he gently pulls them out of her.

Once he separates his fingers from her, she makes an unsettled, broken sound. He grimaces, but she quickly amends the action by gripping his cock into her hand, guiding him to her entrance, and sinking down onto him. 

She meets his eyes, rolling her hips against him while he keeps her steady, guiding her movements and keeping her from slipping with his hands on her waist. When they’re silent, save the sounds of their pleasure, looking into each other’s eyes, they are able to say something much more. He and Vanya have never been able to live a life where they could talk easily about what they felt, and where they struggle with words, they could communicate with actions and small noises. 

As her pleasure starts reaching a crescendo again, tightening around him and breathing going harsh, eyes rolling back, she breathes out, “Love you too” and he realizes she hadn’t said it back before. He pushed into her, roughly, chasing his own release then, moving to brush his thumb on her clit again, wanting her to come with him. 

The pressure in his stomach is unwinding, and they both gasp as he comes inside of her. Her eyes open, widening, and she reached her own orgasm looking at him as he had wanted her to before. 

They cuddle a few minutes, steadying their breathing before Vanya comments dryly, “Think we failed at the ‘getting clean’ portion.” 

He frowns, lifting them both up to stand, “We’ll shower real quick, but I’m paying your utilities this month.”

She rolls her eyes. “As you’ve done for the past six, I imagine.” 

He shrugs, not arguing with her, letting the water drain and not trying to feel any guilt for what was frankly a waste of water, an amount he’d have struggled to ever find in the apocalypse. He cleans them both down quickly in recompense, listening to Vanya whimper as he runs the washcloth over her skin. He kisses her cheek, rinsing them both off and cutting off the water. 

He teleports, highly unnecessarily, to grab two towels. Vanya snarks to him about misusing his powers, and he grins at her, misusing them again to reach her. He lifts her up out of the bathtub, wrapping the towel around her now shivering body. 

“My good girl,” Five croons, holding her up and smiling softly down at her. She sighs loudly, still tipping her head up to kiss his cheek. 

He sets her on the bathroom counter, drying his body quickly and asking, “Want me to order some take out for dinner?”

She nods, “While we wait, the coffee will be done now.”

He’d forgotten. “Oh, Vanya,” he sighs. “You really are the love of my life.” 

“Coffee warranted that?”

 _“You_ warranted that,” he says. “But your ability to make coffee is one of your many wonderful qualities, you see.”

She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. 

He’d get to be with her every night eventually. Hopefully, hopefully, it will be soon. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, and happy fifth day of kinktober!!!! 🍂🍁🎃
> 
> Also, everyone, check out the fivevanya tumblr for info on fiveya week 👉😎👉
> 
> Here’s a snippet of my WIP for the day 5 prompt “Guilt”-
> 
> “ “You need to stop walking alone late at night, Vanya.” Five’s voice sounded tinny over the phone. Even with the distortion to his voice, she could hear the concern in her best friend’s tone.  
> “Not everybody has targets on their back,” she told him, side stepping a pile of mud delicately but still managing to get some on her rain boots.  
> “Haven’t you seen the news lately?” “


End file.
